


It's Dark Outside

by mycaliginousromance



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:12:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycaliginousromance/pseuds/mycaliginousromance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Zombiestuck Katnep where going grimdark means getting wiped of humanity.  Half of the trolls/kids are left, a number that's gradually decreasing.  Note: there may be a few chapters that are NSFW but i'll let you know at the end of the chapter before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The night was dark. Well no dur, all nights are dark. But this was far worse I guess. It’s not that it was dark in the sense that there was an obvious lack of light, but more of that chilling feeling, like when something is following you and it just haunts your subconscious. A few stray bodies still littered the damp earth and limbs were flung askew. Pools of blood spotted the ground here and there, and some of the few of us left ventured out in the open to mourn the lost and scrape at whatever pathetic chance they had of communication. At least, the ones that were brave enough.  
Initially, there were 32 of us, all fighting, all alive, and managing a sort of survival. Twelve trolls from one dimension, twelve from another, and eight kids from who knows where. Weirdos, the lot of them. I guess we all kinda are.  
A strange, silent highblood named Kurloz was on the verge of turning into one of them. Him turning would mean his matesprit would also turn, followed by her moirail, and his matesprit, and so on, spelling out D-E-A-T-H all over. Which is kinda what we’re trying to avoid.  
Oh yeah. Introductions. Screw the formalities. I’m Karkat. I pretty much suck at basically everything, a trait not at all aided by the fact that oh yeah. No one ever liked me anyways. Stupid red blood. Stupid genetics, getting all screwy on me. It’s not like it even matters. Who even cares about the hemospectrum anymore? Your blood color only matters if you lose too much and we don’t have any extra to pump through your veins. So, in my case, I was screwed if I got too many paper cuts. But at least I’m still moving of my own accord. That’s pretty useful.  
Originally, back when we still had 32 able-bodied fighters, any other troll that had turned had died years ago. Mostly, it was the Lusi. One day a horrorterror let out a signal that affected them mentally and physically, causing them to turn charcoal, with black liquid seeping out of their eyes. We killed them all off pretty fast, permanently exterminating the dying race. We thought we were done with it. We thought it was over.  
We thought wrong.  
Something lingered in the air, hanging in the dank, windless planet's atmosphere like black mist. Somehow, it got into the main water system. The first thing you’d notice was the tips of their hair turning a mint white. The humans turned grey, though not the soft grey of a troll. More like the sickly grey of a withered corpse. Gradually, they would begin to make odd requests, altering their strife sylladex with twisted, obscure and often poisonous weapons that could only be described as “grimdark.” We picked up on that pretty fast and quarantined them in the heat of the moment. It was a pretty terrible idea to begin with. For one thing, they all escaped when Sollux broke the main electrical circuit. Now we fight them, or die. And it’s pretty tragic. Emotionally, we’re killing off our matesprits, kismesis, auspitices and sweet moirails. We watched them turn into killing machines, glaring blankly ahead with cold, empty eyes, no longer full of life and exempt of emotion. And it hurts. A lot.  
Rose went first, followed quickly by Kanaya. Sollux dropped out into insanity and there was a power outage for a while. Amidst the darkness, John, Tavros, Terezi, Feferi, Kankri, Porrim and Cronus all fell and fled. This was pretty hard to handle. Soon after, Jade, Aradia, Damara and Latula turned in the following week. Jane and Roxy were pretty upsetting as they turned slowly, and gradually became unbearably rabid. Gamzee turned and potentially infected Kurloz but spilling the virus into a bottle of Faygo, maybe infecting Meulin in the process. They’re under a pretty strict quarantine at the moment, and certainly not allowed to meet with their moirails. Better that they have each other though. And at least they’re alive. 

That’s all you need to know for now. Best of luck. Stay alive. And most importantly: Protect Nepeta.


	2. Insomniac

At least she’s still happy. I guess that’s what really matters. She seems to have formed some pretty strong bonds with a whole bunch of the other trolls, which is pretty great I guess. She’s passed out on the ratty couch right now, looking innocent and sweet. That would all change when she woke up again, but she looked pretty peaceful asleep. Equius, of course, was nearby, guarding her still form. I guess he’s not as bad as he could be. And we seem to have formed a bit of an unspoken alliance when we decided we share a common goal: protect Nepeta. Not to say that she can’t perfectly well protect herself as she is. As a matter of fact, she’d probably design a shipping wall by throwing knives to prove herself, and it would work. But I mean to say that she’s the one we want to stay alive, give her a little extra push for survival. She deserves to live more than any of us in my opinion.

Meenah’s giving me the look again but I’m beyond caring at this point. She’s got her hands full as it is; no way she has time for flirting, and no way I have the energy to talk to her. The base is also running low on stock. For one, the most INCONVENIENT THING they could have possible thought of was to lack food supplies. Sure, there were inconvenient convenience stores about half a mile away, but that was a red zone for now. Kinda takes out the convenience of it all. Horuss and Equius have been keeping us well supplied with weapons, crafting them intricately and elegantly out of the scraps we pick up. Mituna’s been pretty useful as well, keeping the electrical fields in order, but other than that mostly spazzed about, shutting himself off from the world to find a peace amidst his migraines. Poor guy. He’s been through a lot, this one. He’s still hanging on to the fact that Kurloz is still with us, and that’s been the thing stitching him back together for loss of Latula, pardon the pun. Eridan and Vriska weren’t doing nearly as well as he was.

Eridan, for one, lost Sollux pretty suddlenly, with the equivalent effect of slamming headfirst into a brick wall. That was pretty bad to begin with, but when Feferi started fading into the dark, that must have been what I can only imagine drowning must feel like. She just sort of… slipped away.

Vriska on the other hand, she’s been through almost worse. When Kanaya went grimdark, she turned to John and Tavros, and they did their best to cheer her up. She was laughing hysterically through broken sobs, but somehow they made her better. Until they turned. Simultaneously. She forbade us from hurting them until they got out of the base. Now they’re free game, and she refuses to even speak of it.

Rufioh and Meenah, however, have got things completely under control, acting as the stereotypical rebel leader. Their appearance and personality balance out, and they could star in any movie worth watching about apocalypses. As if. Aranea, Dirk and Jake respond to their every command like little soldiers. In this case, soldiers are better. We need more than we have, but we’re making the most of it.

Dave though. Dave I feel genuinely horrible for. John. Jade. Rose. Terezi. His own brother for goodness sake. But it’s not just that. It’s like he froze. He doesn’t really talk much, cut off, and furiously icy. It’s kinda depressing just to make eye contact with him anymore.

 

Nepeta though. She was still so unbroken, so full of life. Her emotions, though exhausted, were always cheery. I glanced back to the couch. Her chest rose and fell softly as she drank in the much needed sleep. I looked around the room, scanning for Equius. He appears to have absconded. I stood upon noticing this, taking in the opportunity and striding over to Nepeta’s unmoving form. I slumped on the end cushion near her, lifting her head gingerly onto my lap so as not to wake her. She needs more sleep than any of us do, having gone a number of weeks running on three hours of sleep and bitter coffee, paid off with dark rings smudging beneath her brilliant eyes. She didn’t deserve these kind of problems, staying up for hours navigating, planning, strategizing, and I wasn’t going to let the world hurt her like it hurt Dave. I can’t even bear to think about that. 

I run my fingers through her hair. It’s grown out again, twisting into elf knots. My hands catch on the snarls and I gently untwine them from a mangy mane into dark waves, not unlike Meulin’s. I pushed her bangs out of her delicate face, tracing along her gothic lips. I smiled as she subconsciously begins to purr, and I slide my hand along her jawline. I run a thumb across her candycorn horns and the corners of her mouth turn up oh so slightly.

The faint whirr of a chainsaw shrieks through the night; not close enough to be a threat, but kind of unsettling. If anything, it was becoming a bit of a droning sound. The suddenness of it all caused Nepeta’s bright, dark eyes to slide open. She woke with a start, muscles tense and pupils narrowed to slits. They widened in confusion as she focused and realized it was me. Fuck. A faint blush spread across her cheeks and she blinked a few times, before bolting upright, blushing almost as hard as I was. Almost. For a few seconds we just sat there, not saying anything. I cursed myself a hundred times over before finding the same spot on the messy carpet that Nepeta was staring at so anxiously. Just say something you idiot. You have to explain yourself. It’s now or never. “Uhm…” I manage. My voice cracks before I even start talking, causing her to blush more. She practically sprinted away, up the stairs that were nearly a ladder, to the bunk room. I stare at the floor, feeling dumber than usual. And, being the idiot that I am, I follow her up to the bunk room. 

Overall, it’s a pretty simple setup, going around circularly in order of earth Zodiac. I bunk alone, using the top bunk as storage for miscellaneous weapons. Meulin and Kurloz, being under quarantine, left Dave and Nepeta without a bunk mate. I looked around the room, breathing in the musty scent of sweat, death, blood, and the occasional pine-colada air freshener that really wasn’t that fresh anymore. Aranea and Meenah had made their way to Meenah’s bunk, braiding their hair and gossiping lightheartedly. Mituna was a mound of thin blankets and pillows, shaking a bit above a fairly relaxed Rufioh, who was reading a Zombie novel. How ironic.

Other than that, the room was empty. Nepeta had draped a stale red blanket over the edge of her bunk, creating a cave of a sort. I feel the corners of my lips curve up a little and the ends of my ears turn warm. I duck under my bunk before it could get any worse. I busy myself with a piece of rope I’d found, tying and untying countless knots around my fingers until it all runs together in my head, blending into monotony. The lights snap off with a click and the groan of the trapdoor creaks through the heavy atmosphere as it latches shut. I heard muffled rustling as everyone scrambled out of their clothes and into bed. I peered into the dark room, doing a quick headcount. I can’t be too safe.

I lay back and stayed there motionlessly, almost lifelessly before the screaming started, right on cue. I checked my watch. 3:14. Their haunting, eerie voices echoed around the silent room as they called out to their matesprits and moirails. I stared back at the bunk above me, scratched and carved thoroughly with my pocket knife. Countless x’s lined the edges, and the cancer symbol creating deep grooves. For a while, i just stared, then added on to the plethura of crisscrossing lines. I checked my watch again. 4:13. As if on a timer, the shrieks and screams stopped. I sighed. I pulled on a loose pair of jeans and strode over to the tiny porthole of a window. Looks like the barbed wire fence survived another night. My eyes found their way to Nepeta’s bunk, her small candle still aglow. Equius was working in the forgery again tonight, and she seemed pretty freaked. 

I pushed back the blanket around her bunk, and she let out a gasp of surprise, whirling around and raking her fingernails across my bare shoulder. Cherry red blood began to spot a bead at the needlelike gouges.  
“Oh… Karkitty I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was you..” she trailed off, horrified at herself.  
“No, no it’s fine see?" Blood still glinted in the flickering candlelight, but honestly, it was just a scratch. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately and I wanted to make sure you were sleeping well. I sat down on her bed, letting the blanket slide back across. Faint giggles erupted from Vriska and Meenah, followed by scandalous whispers. Tomorrow morning was going to be interesting, but whatever. Screw it. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded all too quickly, reverting her attention back to the wall.  
“What are you doing anyway?’ I asked, scanning the intricate grid, filled far beyond capacity with boxes and names, separated into colors and symbols. Some of the boxes were circled, some underlined, a few crossed out, and all of them smelling the same metallic aroma of blood. So this is the fabled Shipping Wall. A bright splash of color was separated from the main chart, low and to the left near where her head usually rested, and it caught my eye. The letters “OTP” were emblazoned above it. Nepeta hurled a pillow at it before I could get a closer look at it. The pillow covered it completely and that was that. Peculiar, but duely noted. I returned my attention to the rest of the wall. Some of the Boxes had been scratched out completely. I caught one. That was all it took. One box on a wall, scratched out in an angry jade X.

"KarkatXGamzee, pale" it read.

I lost it there, breathing deeply as I put a shaky arm around Nepeta for support and stability. Memories flooded my mind, memories of long nights and Faygo and radical notions and stupid things that didn’t matter. But they did. He always had my back, Gamzee. He screwed up pretty bad but always had the best intentions…..  
Nepeta ran her slim fingers up and down my spine as I collapsed into silent, angry, pathetic sobs. She just sighed and held me closer, holding up my degrading emotions and running her fingers through my hair. It began to stick to my face annoyingly in an anxious sweat and she brushed it aside.  
Ok.  
Ok.  
*deep breath*  
I collected myself, slowly piecing facts back together. I watched her draw for a while. She drew cats of all types, some with wings, some with four ears, two mouths, even hooves. The detailed lines brought me back to a state calm enough to relax a little. I looked back at her face, a porcelain grey, and her dark eyes, the yellows glowing in an almost catlike way. She looked up from her tablet and met my own eyes. I could only stare. I leaned in closer, eyeing her lips, my gaze trailing back up to her breathtaking eyes. She smiled and blushed, placing her palms against my bare chest, whispering in my ear.  
“Goodnight Karkitty,” she said, her voice like honey on her lips as she gently pushed my away. Her expression deceived her actions: her voice bade me leave, while her eyes begged me to stay. But she needed sleep like nothing else. I blew out the persevering candle, engulfing her in darkness.  
“Goodnight Nepeta,” I whispered back, giving her the space she needed and returning dutifully to my own bunk, where I lay for several more hours until whoever invented insomnia decided I was allowed to sleep. I drifted off almost painfully, but happily. Soft purrs proclaimed Nepeta had drifted off and only then did I truly fall asleep.


	3. through the mists

Morning came all too quickly, an unfortunate occurrence that was consistent with every. Single. Day. I peered through barely open eyelids, rubbing one with an angry fist and looking groggily around the bunk room. No one else was awake, surprise surprise. I sat up slowly taking in last night’s events. I felt my ears grow warm and glanced back down to Nepeta and tugged nervously at the silver chain that hung around my neck. She was still asleep, still clutching my hand. I pulled away gently and let her sleep. She looked so unbroken. Looking around, I realized that it’s not just her- everyone looks so innocent in their sleep, like they hadn’t seen death, like the only priority was waking. In a sense it was, but even Meenah looks harshly angelic. 

I slipped out of bed, angry grooves from my jeans imprinted in my skin. I slid into a black t-shirt with grey handcuffs and a grimy pair of combat boots, then peered into the foggy mirror. The yellows of my eyes shone out like lanterns against the dark sockets. Two hours of sleep. At least it was one more than last night. Still glaring at my reflection I attempt to straighten my hair. It refused to be tamed, and stood up in defiant spikes. I give up. Tiptoeing to the viewport, I assessed the situation. X-Kanaya and X-Rose were still hacking at the fence, drenched in the colors of a Christmas nightmare. Sparks flew off the sturdy metal as Kanaya pressed her whirring chainsaw to the fence, unfazed by the blinding sunlight. Making no progress, they continued as a stationary obstacle.

Meenah awoke next and I braced myself for the snark. She just smiled and nodded at Nepeta. “Did you guys….” She whispered, trailing off. I blushed and shook my head. “What the glub man?” she shouted suddenly. She fished in her pocket and woke up Aranea with a gentle shove. Aranea woke with a knowing smile and held out her hand as Meenah slapped ten boondollars onto her outstretched palm, a smug grin plastered to her groggy face. Meenah planted a pouty kiss on her forehead and they crawled out of bed. Fiddling with the wires and buttons, she turned on the giant old-school stereo, blaring hardcore punk rock as loud as she could and basically scaring everyone awake, drowning out any oppositions that might have otherwise been heard. I shrugged it off. Loud music I could deal with. It muffled the screaming.

Reaching over the edge of my bunk I grabbed my twin sickles, still warm from the forge. This pair was a newer, lighter model, probably better than the last. I’d need all the help I could get. Today was the day we get supplies. 

Oh, we’re just getting supplies. No big deal. Not like we’re risking our lives or anything. Whatever. In order to survive, we need supplies. Big whoop. The hard part is actually getting to it. We’ve had to divide our group in half, not for convenience, but for overall species survival. As far as we know, we’re the last trolls left. This is it. Woo hoo, confetti, confetti. However there’s always the chance that the supply group never comes back. A pretty big chance actually. My group consists of Meenah, Rufioh, Vriska, Eridan, and Nepeta. We partner up for convenience, not compatibility so I was paired with Meenah. Nepeta was with Rufioh though, so her safety was insured. Gosh I need to stop worrying about her she’s fine. If anything I’m the one that needs protection. Donning our weapons, we trooped down the stairs and out the door. On the way out, Equius had come down the stairs from the armory for breakfast. He shot Rufioh a trusting glance that said “take good care of her.” He glared a similar one to Eridan that said “you too but I still despise you.” Mine was a much simpler look of complete and total disapproval. I nodded to him. I disapprove of me too, but I think I’m allowed my own opinions on this. The iron clad door shut with a click and bolted us out. We’re on our own now. 

Meenah tucked the key safely in her pocket and shot me a devious expression. I waited until she’d turned away before I rolled my eyes. We waltzed on through the gate, avoiding the crazed Rose/Kanaya duo and latching it, keeping us on our toes. The landscape stretched out in front of us.

I guess it might have been described as beautiful once, maybe poetic. It really wasn’t either now, unless you read some really twisted poetry. Like, we’re talking Edgar Allen Poe here. I meadow spread out in front of us like old butter, the tall grass growing twisted with vines, dotted with puddles and pools of oil and water. I heavy mist hung over the pools in the mornings, so that the contents of the pool were unknown to us. We don’t go near the pools. We don’t talk about the pools. To the right grew a thick forest, overgrown with dark weeds and undergrowth, appearing to have leaves of ash, and holding mists for the entire day, even the scorching afternoons. Like the pools, we don’t talk about the forest. In the distance Mountains whispered faintly of their presence, spreading out in snowy peaks in high altitudes. To the left a mile or so down the road dwelled an abandoned suburb, complete with the previously-stated inconvenience store and about ten hives total. Pretty tiny, I know. Most of the hives looked relatively new, but that didn’t matter anymore I guess. What mattered was getting out alive from the town where the mist turns black. 

Now I’m no poet: hell, I can barely even write my name correctly [[possibly due to overexposure to grimdark influence]] but this is some pretty emotional stuff. I mean we’re talking black mist. Not black because it’s still dark outside, not black because there’s dirt in the air, but black because that is the mist. Every drop burns like acid and you can’t breathe it. You just can’t. We all wear gas masks to continue finding oxygen in this broken world. 

Static buzzed through our headsets turning out vision flashing bright blue and red for an instant before cutting out again. Lightning-like blots shot through the void, followed by a pale gust of wind that nearly knocked us off of our feet. We all took a step closer to Rufioh. This is his element. He scanned the perimeter, his ears twitching. Another softer breeze ruffled his hair and he spread his large translucent wings, hovering just a few feet off of the ground. We waited in a tense silence. Nepeta slid a shaking palm into mine.

Suddenly, a hand shot out from the mist, stabbing blindly in our general direction with an oversized lance. Rufioh parried it easily, sliding it harmlessly to the right with a lance of his own. Dust swirled up in small dust devils as he equalized the winds. We now fight in a dank chill with a light breeze that sunk through the atmosphere. Tavros emerged completely from the mists. His metal legs were dented, but functional. One of his once-magnificent horns was thoroughly scratched, the other with half of it dangling, hanging on only by the soft tissue and rusty, snapping veins. His eyes were completely clouded over, almost sunken and he proceeded with a horribly sane grin. Black liquid dripped through his teeth. He lunged forward at Rufioh, nicking his shoulder with the barbed end of the lance. Rufioh spread his wings and the battle rose into the sky. For nearly an hour they fought as blood splattered down on us, staining the surrounding earth. Stumbling in the air, Rufioh landed on broken wings. Tavros persevered, pinning him to the ground by his fragile, gossamer wings, lifting his lance to strike….

Meenah interjected, hitting him square in his vulnerable chest, exposed for but a moment. The trident entered slowly as if in slow motion and took our breath away. Hours upon hours of practice had paid off well with her. He flew backwards, landing flat on his back with a horrible crunching sound. Meenah retrieved her trident, her expression grim as she stepped back. I couldn’t blame her. Vriska though…

Eridan tried to hold her back. He really did. But the moment he fell… she lost it. She escaped his attempted restraints and rushed to Tavros’s broken form. She ran a shaking hand along his cheek. His hand twitched a bit before he began to convulse into violent spasms. Eridan pulled her a safe distance away until he became still again. Once again she broke down back to the ground near him, running fingers through his hair. I took note of the growing pool around his still body: the black was slowly becoming diluted with a deep, earthen rust color. Huh.

Vriska was laughing hysterically, tears streaming down her porcelain face. Without warning, she ripped off her gas mask, grabbed his once-complete horns and kissed his dying face, blinking back angry tears, blinking back emotions. His eyes appeared to glitch as if static, and he tensed. He coughed a few times, fresh, clean blood spattering his tattered shirt. 

“Tavros,” whispered Vriska, her voice cracking.

“vRISKA? wHERE aM i? aRE wE hOME aGAIN? dID I dO a gOOD jOB?” he looked up at her with innocent, fading eyes.

“Yeah, we’re home. You did gr8, Tav. You were really confident too, and we’re all safe now, th8nks to you.”  
Her voice broke and I could almost hear the cracks forming in her heart. His smile was excited, but faint as he relaxed and shut his eyes gently. She whispered something in his ear and held his hand until the stuttering rise and fall of his chest ended all too abruptly as all breath left his broken body. 

Vriska rose silently, unsheathing her sword and staring directly ahead into the mists. She pulled her mask back over her face slowly. It hit us nearly a moment before we could stop her as she lunged into the darkness. We waited in stagnant silence as various shrieks and cries rang out. A dull thud sounded as a particularly violent scream was heard, followed by a horrible squelching sound, followed by a loud crack. She returned shortly after this, drenched in violet blood. 

Eridan looked pretty upset about this, but didn’t resist as she collapsed into his arms and burying her face in his shirt, flinging aside a smallish object that landed with a hollow, echoing thud and leaving a splash of color. Walking cautiously towards it, I found it was the broken horn of Cronus, still draining blood on the damp ground and spilling dramatically and artistically into an oily pool. I can’t imagine he put up much of a fight. From the sounds of it, it was more of a pathetic struggle.  
Nepeta winced a bit as she tended to Rufioh’s wounds, temporarily splinting his wing with a few arrows. Turning back to Tavros, she arranged the a few sparse, weedy flowers around his head.  
“Bye Tafuros,” she hummed mournfully as she turned back to the group, her ears twitching. She motioned towards a cluster of scraggly trees and scrambled up one. Vriska, her cheeks still glistening with tears, was the first to follow her up. Nepeta flicked her tail back and forth, the last hints of blue dye shining against the midnight black. Her pupils narrowed to slits as another troll stumbled forward, driven on by the fresh scent of blood. I think I stopped breathing for a second.

It was Terezi.

Memories filled my head, sweeps of telling myself that things were going well, that everything is ok. She doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t mean it. I’m happy this way.  
I wasn’t.

Nepeta dropped from the tree silently, hitting the landing with practiced perfection. Vriska followed on steps as delicate as the spider she was. I could only stare. This was one battle I would just have to sit out.  
They surrounded her and ran in tight circles around her until she span and fell. She grabbed at Nepeta’s face as she fell, pulling her down with her. Vriska began stabbing her relentlessly, severing an arm and black blood began to pool outward. Unfazed, Terezi held on to Nepeta, her hand grasping her face, then at her throat. “such 4 pr3tty f4c3,” she mused “ h3y K4rkl3s, Ch4s1ng 4ft3r th1s on3 too 1 s33.”

I dropped, landing on my ankle. That doesn’t hurt. Yes it does. I lunged at Terezi, pulling her hand off of Nepeta’s Face. Reaching for me now, her hand shot upwards. I pinned it down with a sickle and her blood began to run teal. “For Just1c3,” she shouted faintly, drifting off slowly, then suddenly. She shut her cherry eyes with a grin and her breathing stopped. 

I sat back for a second, taking in the situation. Nepeta was near tears and I put a shaky arm around her. I guess she was Terezi’s friend too. Her initial reaction was to nuzzle into me, and let me take some of this weight off her. However, she pushed me away hesitantly, not meeting my eyes, instead staring at the ground and the blood on her hands.

She didn’t talk to me or meet my eyes the entire trip home, but her hand never left mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [[ok guys there's some stuff implied in this chapter just to warn you. Also watch out for fluff and emotions and stuff because they're coming too c:]]

So we got back, with the sky turning brilliant shades of orange. They didn’t seem as bright as they usually were, but I can assume. We were all pretty shaken as we trooped through the gate, then the door, drenched in a rainbow of blood. Aranea was at the door with Mituna and we listed off the deaths and events. Unfortunately, we’d failed to actually successfully retrieve any supplies of any sort. Ergo making our efforts almost completely meaningless, save for a horrible mood and making hunger a more aching pain. I’d nabbed a bit of scrap metal, but really it’s not much. I lugged it all up to the forgery at the top of the base, passing it off to Horuss. At my arrival, Equius rushed to me almost frantically. 

“Nepeta... is she alright?”  
“Downstairs,” I responded, almost as relieved as he was.  
He rushed down the ladder so fast, I was sure he’d break them. I turned back to Horuss to hear a startling crack. Upon hearing this, I jerked my head back to the ladder. Sure enough, one of the rungs was snapped nearly into, it was so broken. I must say, I called it. Horuss turned back to his work and I climbed back down the stairs, carefully avoiding the fractured rung. Trooping back down another set of steps, I entered the cluttered living room. A flustered Vriska was engaging in a heated argument over portion sizes with Eridan, and I could see why. Each of us had only a sliver of meat and a glass of water. No use arguing then. I took my portion and slumped to the ground in a corner of one of foldable tables. Nepeta was on the couch next to Equius, fixing his untidy ponytail. She’d already munched on her food a bit, and she was insisting Equius eat it, that he’d been working so hard today, he’d need it. He refused of course. 

I looked down at my own pathetic sliver if food. A sliver of food that was completely unappealing at the moment. The thought of it sliding down my throat made me sick and I just had to sit back for a while. In the end, I gave it to Nepeta. She needed to eat now more than ever. She still didn’t meet my eyes as I walked over to her and insisted she eat. She nodded a bit bashfully and nibbled on the corner of her fork. I climbed up the first ladder once more and sat on my bed for a bit, picking up a black sharpie and scribbling on a blank page of a notebook that I kept hidden. I attacked the pristine paper, starting with jagged lines and indented paper marks, eventually flowing into softer curves as my mind subsided. I found myself suddenly doodling hands in various positions. It took me a while but I realized I’d seen them before. Petite hands with slim fingers and fingernails that extended like talons, nearly skeletal but still soft, and forever delicate, beautifully scarred. These were Nepeta’s hands. I stopped and shut the cover of the notebook slowly, shoving it back in between the mattress and the wall. I sat upright again and placed my hands on my face, staring blankly at the opposite wall. Don’t think about Nepeta. Don’t think about Nepeta. Too late. But what’s not to think about? She’s perfect in the most completely imperfect way. An optimist, viewing the grey world as one of color. What a beautiful lie. But I can’t help but love every bit of her, and every ounce of my being wants to shield her from the world. I can’t, and I never could. And today, she got hurt. We all got hurt. 

They began to file into the room slowly, their expressions grim but relieved. Mituna sprinted in first and became a Mituna-burrito, curling up into a nest of blankets. Everyone else retreated to their own bunks to take off their shoes and any remaining armor, freeing themselves for the night.  
“Rufioh,” I called, gesturing to the forgery. He stopped in his tracks, blushing nervously and fluttering up the first few rungs, but too quickly. His horns caught comically on either side of the trapdoor, adding to the growing collage of similar puncture marks. Feeble snickers speckled the tiny crowd. He turned his head sideways, barely squeezing through. The trapdoor shut quickly afterwards. Awkward thumps and banging sounds echoed through the framework of the base and the clinging of metal sounded out. Startled gasps and wincing followed by laughter rained down from the cracks in the trapdoor.

“Must be hard with horns like that,” interrupted Vriska and we soon blossomed into laughter.

Nepeta was curled up on Equius’s lap, batting around a small metal contraption on a fine metal chain. A worthy substitute for yarn, but a poor choice. Nevertheless, I found myself blushing. She was pretty adorable, even when she was trying to be a cat. Annoying as it was, it was heartwarming in a totally weird sort of way. 

Peeling of my sweaty T-shirt, I looked across the room. Dave, like Mituna, was curled into a burrito. A short list of names neatly lined the bedpost on his bunk: Rose, John, Jade, Dirk, Terezi, Bro. Dirk was completely untouched on the list, still burning bright red in shaky handwriting. Rose, John, Jade and Bro all had one slanted line crossing them out. Terezi had two, forming an X. Bad cases, 4/5. Hopeless cases, 1/6. Poor Chum. I’d go right over and hug him if that weren’t completely out of character. Also, he needs some time to adjust. Again. Apparently, Aranea didn’t see that as she rushed to his side to comfort him. Vriska and Meenah were seated on her bunk, braiding each other’s hair and gossiping, and stealing glances as Eridan and myself. I looked at him and he just shrugged.

Rufioh fluttered back down to the bunk room, narrowly avoiding snagging his horns again. He almost made it through this time. Good try Rufioh, good try. His already spiked hair was thoroughly tousled and he winked ironically across the room, sending the girls collapsing into a pool of giggles. Horuss descended with a dazed look in his eyes. He snapped out of it just in time to catch himself from tripping down the steep steps, if you could even call then anything less than a ladder. “Weapons!” he chirped, dumping the plethora of weapons to the floor with a ringing clamor. Meenah pulled out a gleaming golden trident, spinning it between her fingers for a bit, testing its pliability and lightness. Nepeta got a finer set of talons. She put them on and pawed at the air a bit before smiling and complimenting Horuss and Equius. Rufioh got a new tip for his lance, expertly crafted poisonously. 

Vriska got a new robotic arm, which was truly a work of art, with a retractable sword built into it. Spiked armor plated it sleekly. Eridan helped her attach it, unscrewing her current, dented arm and replacing it with the shining new one to the wired nub of her shoulder. At some point in the tedious process, his hand must have slipped or something because his face flushed suddenly violet and Vriska burned a violent shade of cerulean. She attempted to look as embarrassed as possible, but her eyebrows deceived her. Face still flushed, Eridan finished the last screws and tightened them into place before dashing back to his bunk, pulling a blanket over his blushing face. Meenah, of course, was rolling on her bunk, laughing hysterically.  
Vriska waggled her eyebrows and pounced onto Eridan as the remainder of the trolls undressed and climbed into bed.  
Equius, Aradia, Dirk, Jake, Dave and Mituna left to hunt for the night and gather all the supplies that we’d managed not to get. They left, slamming the trapdoor. Rufioh stood to lock it tightly and shut of the bare, blinding lights for the night. As my eyes adjusted I noticed a warm glow from Nepeta’s bunk. Her tail was twitching under the edge of the blanket, softly ruffling the thin fabric. She’d blow out the candle soon enough. I popped a sleeping pill in my mouth, swallowing it with lukewarm water and adding to the array of marks on the bunk above my head.

It’s been two hours. The light is still on.

Sighing, I slip on my worn jeans and stand up, a sharp pain shooting through my skull as I bang my nub of a horn on the top bunk. Genius. I it to dull the pain and continued to Nepeta’s bunk, pushing back the drab blanket and plopping down next to her to observe her delicate hand trace along the lines in her shipping chart. The square labeled OTP was nowhere to be seen, covered by some obscure punk band that had probably been dead for years. 

The GamzeeXTerezi box had so many lines crisscrossing through it in an array of colors that it was barely legible. A final teal smear confirmed it once and for all. A second smudge scraped across the DaveXTerezi ship, similar to the scratches on Dave’s bedpost. The VriskaXEridan box was newly sketched on the wall. An abrupt shout followed by a nervous groan rang out, and she circled the ship happily, breaking down into a fit of giggles.

She returned her gaze to the last box, angrily scribbled into the wall. KarkatXTerezi. She etched a second line through it slowly, her hand falling to her lap and smearing on the wall a little. 

She sniffed a little, rubbing her hand across her face and smudging her face with still-wet blood. I put a hand on her shoulder and she hesitated a bit before flicking it off.

That kinda hurt.

I looked to the ground and she sighed, turning around, still refusing to meet my eyes.  
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, barely audible.  
“There’s nothing to be sorry for…” I responded, but she cut me off.  
“I turned into a monster back there. She was my friend too, but you guys had a history..” she trailed off, her voice cracking. “it was right in front of you, in front of everyone. And I hunted her like an animal.” She stared me dead in the eye now. She didn’t cry, but it was clear she wanted nothing more than to break down in tears.  
“Nepeta...”  
“What?!” she whispered furiously, her expression screaming at me.

And I couldn’t help but stare. Her wide eyes searched me for answers, pupils dilating and shrinking hypnotically in an entrancing pattern. She tensed as I brought my hand to her face, wiping of the colorful bloodstains. I she gasped slightly as I brought her face to mine, and I leaned my forehead against hers.

“Karkitty...”  
“Don’t apologize. Don’t you dare apologize. You did what any one of us should have done without hesitation. Don’t be sorry. Don’t you ever be sorry.”

Now my voice was beginning to crack. Great timing, hormones. Great timing.

“But...”  
“Nope,” I whispered as I pressed my lips against hers. She immediately tensed, waiting a few seconds before melting under my touch, her hands running up my chest and snaking around my neck. I wove my fingers through her hair, each strand as soft as feathers. I wanted this moment to last for hours. Screw that. I never wanted it to end.

It did of course. 

She pulled apart, giggling shakily before tackling me in a hug and kissing me again

I hope this becomes a habit.

She kissed me harder, pinning me to her bed, her pointed fingers gripping my face gently. I smiled against her lips and our fangs clashed together. She pulled away first and rested her head against my chest as her breathing began to slow. I ruffled her hair a bit and slid her off of me, slipping out of my jeans. Don’t get your eyebrows up. You try sleeping in jeans I mean COME ON people.  
“Alright if I spend the night?” I murmured. She nodded sleepily in response. I grabbed the spare blanket from the foot of the bed, wrapping it around us as she curled up next to me, wrapping her tail around her feet. She nuzzled into my shoulder, purring as she drifted off. I wrapped my arms around her sleeping form, holding her against me and resting my chin on her head. I felt myself lose consciousness slowly as my eyes grew heavy and I too, drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys I feel like this chapter was more psychobabble type than anything else don't worry more action/fluff is coming in some of the next chapters c:


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